I ran away.

It's January 18th. And my last post was in September. And I'm okay with that. New phase of life, new phase of blogging. Thanks to all 1.2 of you that may actually still be hanging around waiting for a new post. :) Here ya go...

So, today Paul did an amazing thing. A very very very amazing thing. He took a day off and kept Thatcher all day so I could run away and have some time to myself. Did you hear me? All day. I slept in. Took an uninterrupted shower. Shaved the woolly mammoth fur off my legs. (Yes, I did just type that on the internet.) Had a long life-giving phone chat with my since-college best friend. Hit a thrift store. Meandered through Big Lots. And ate fried dill pickles at Zaxby's & listened to my Jim Brickman Pandora station on my phone while having a quiet time. I feel like a new woman.

But it's the quiet time I want to talk most about. See, I have really been struggling in that area in this new season of parenthood. I try to allow myself freedom in 'snacking' on God's Word here and there when I can in my pj-clad, applesauce-smeared, one-eye-open mommy state...but inevitably I end up spiraling into guilt because I'm not heavily entranced in scripture like I was in college. Oh how I long for those days. And that free time. (Dear 19 year-old Merideth: make the most of your time!)

I have been praying lately for God to give me a renewed desire to be in the Word. Like, an unquenchable desire that over-runs sleepiness & distraction. Normal day-to-day life seems to be my biggest enemy. I've tried several ways to overcome the distraction...all to no avail. So today when I opened my journal, I prayed for renewed desire & lack of distraction again. And here's what God returned to me:

³⁵ In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there. ³⁶ Simon and his companions searched for Him;³⁷ they found Him, and said to Him, “Everyone is looking for You.” ³⁸ He *said to them, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.” -Mark 1: 35-38

Several things God drew me to today:

• Jesus went away:: Even Jesus needed to get away from it all sometimes & just be alone, un-distracted with the Father. As I processed today I listed all the things that make me distracted and less likely to spend 'quality' time with God at home. Noise. Laundry. A messy house. Sleepiness. But God could meet with me in my crazy messy noisy house. I know that. But Jesus could have also met with God in His bed at Simon & Andrew's house. But He didn't. What a relief. What a relief to know that there is something sacred about running away to steal some time with God by yourself. Jesus gets me. He needed it too. And if He needed it, surely He understands my need.
• Jesus understood the desire to be closer to the Father:: What a burden it must have been to be so distant from God in flesh while for so long being so close in nature. He wanted to be near God. Just the two ONE of them. Again, Jesus gets me.
• Jesus kept eternal perspective in the midst of pressing circumstances:: I *LOVE* that in vs. 36 it says Simon & his party posse interrupted Jesus' alone time saying "Everyone is looking for you." Oh man do I know that feeling. Well, not really. But I do know what it feels like to not go to the bathroom by myself. Or not read a magazine without someone needing to know when someone else needs to go down for a nap. Or not get to spend time alone with the Lord during 'nap time' without being interrupted by mid-nap crying. But how does Christ respond? “Let us go somewhere else...so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.” He knows his role in eternity. This passage begged the question of me - Do I know my role in eternity? Am I content to live out that role despite pressing circumstances? Or am I going to spitefully hoard my "me time"?

I am not God. I am, however, a wife/mom/campus missionary. And I need to be prepared, through the power of the Spirit, to respond as Christ did in this passage. And what a relief to know that in this season of life, the Lord of my life and God of the universe actually 'gets' me. He was well acquainted with desiring God more, needing space & yet still being asked to serve.

Would you join me in praying for me (and you!) to live out this passage? Oh, how I desperately needed this sweet reminder!!

Thanks y'all. See ya again when God inspires another post. ;)