A Confessional

Okay, Thatcher is due any day now. Really, any minute now. And, it's time I publicly confess.

I. am. paranoid. of. labor.

I know, I know. It's dumb. I know it's dumb. It's super dumb because I'm praying to avoid the very thing that I know millions of women around the world are praying to get the chance to enjoy...some which are VERY close dear friends of mine. It's so ridiculously self-absorbed of me.

It took me a while to actually get to the point where I would deal in reality. Of course, it was my sweet husband who finally tipped me over the edge and made me have a full-out-avoid-no-feelings-or-details conversation that uprooted the whole basis for my fear.

Comfort.

Oh how I worship comfort. Oh how I hate a trial or anything that challenges me to live by faith. I'm so much for comfortable living out of my own strength. Or so my ridiculous brain seems to think. BIG. FAT. LIE!!!

Praise God for sweet friends who have pledged to dig at this little fear with me. And praise God for my precious hubs who will not allow me to live a life of avoidance. And praise God even more for His sweet Spirit & the refreshing Word of God that speaks to EVERY SINGLE AREA OF OUR LIVES!

So...a little over a week ago I finally disciplined myself to sit down and pour my heart over the Word and seek out scripture that would soothe my fraidy-cat little soul - aka - confront my heart of self-worship.

God poured scripture after scripture over me and I flipped from one reference to another, looking up fear, pain, comfort, labor, etc. I was reminded of so much. I was reminded of Eve and her disobedience to God. I was reminded of the passage where Christ uses labor as a parable for His resurrection and return. I was reminded of how God is more concerned about my character than my comfort. I was reminded of eternal perspective & where my true comfort comes from.....God alone. Not avoidance of pain. And certainly not avoidance of labor.

God then prompted me to turn this precious little time into a craft time. (I mean, our Creator knows me so well. He is the craftiest of all crafties, ya know!?!) So, here's what was produced...



A little scripture memory ring of 19 passages that I'm taking with me to the hospital for labor and delivery. And I mean, it's cute because...well, duh...cute fonts & ribbon make everything better. :)

So, here's a quick rundown of all that God led me to:
(Note: They are all in the NAS, except for one in the NIV and I honestly cant remember which one that was. I just loved the specific wording in that translation better. Also, they may not 'translate' to you, but I pray they do. Some just mean more due to studying them before or a specific message God has spoken to me through the passage. Also, can't figure out why on earth some are wacky sizes here. I wish all the fun fonts could carry over.) :)

Psalm 55:1-7 My heart is in anguish within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me. I said, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." Behold, I would wander far away, I would lodge in the wilderness. Selah. (*This is personally my fav, b/c I literally said to Paul "I wish you could just knock me out, take out Thatcher, then wake me up." Total avoidance. God was like, "Oh no, girlfriend. Let me just address that directly with scripture. If you avoid My will for your life...you will just end up in the wilderness." Eeeew. Smack. in. the. face.)

Psalm 95:6-8 Come, let us worship and bow down, Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand. Today, if you would hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, As in the day of Massah in the wilderness (*Meribah & Massah = "temptation" & "strife")...

Jeremiah 17:7-8 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD. "For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes ; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought, Nor cease to yield fruit.

Psalm 46:1-7 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, The holy dwelling places of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted. The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.

Psalm 57:1-2 Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge Until destruction passes by. I will cry to God Most High, To God who accomplishes all things for me.

Philippians 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Deuteronomy 31:7-8 Then Moses called to Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, "Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land which the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall give it to them as an inheritance. "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

John 16:16, 20-22 "A little while, and you will no longer see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me"..."Truly, truly, I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy. Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.”

Psalm 94:19 When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.

Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Pslam 119:49-50 Remember the word to Your servant, In which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me.

Psalm 69:1,16-17 Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck….Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. 17 Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.

James 1:2-4 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Psalm 27:1, 13-14 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear ? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?...I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalm 91:1-6 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust !" For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper And from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge ; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. You will not be afraid of the terror by night, Or of the arrow that flies by day; Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

(And some prayers for Thatcher, too...)

Ephesians 1:18-19 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe...

Colossians 1:9-12 ...We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 ...We pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, 12 so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

So, there ya go. I'm praying this little collection will encourage someone else out there, too. I can honestly say that pouring these over my heart has given me a fresh vision for what God has called me to. I am waaaay less fearful and waaaay more expectant about all that God will teach me through this process.

I'd love your sweet prayers! I'm sure I'll have lots of thoughts afterward! :) Love y'all!!